Trying to make sense in the midst of this nonsense

What happened in Boston today might be minor compared to what happens or happened in many of the countries that you are from. But since every life is precious and every lost life leaves an immeasurable void, I just could not help but stop and think what matters in life. In the midst of such great nonsense, only what truly matters keeps us hopeful and strong.

The confluence of today’s tragedy and my recent birthday made me ridiculously homesick, despite the fact that I call myself a global citizen and always claim to be open for the next adventure. Nonetheless, missing my family and friends back home, or wherever they are, also made me appreciate all the great things I have going, without which feeling homesick would have made me much hopeless. Despite my very critical attitude towards HBS and what I call this very shallow culture, the HBS experience has helped me grow and learn a lot about myself. In these past months, some of you have called me genuine, smart, kind, insecure, control freak, too apologetic. And all of that is somehow true. However, the only word that matters is “friend”. Some of you might have said it out loud, some of you might have implied it with your gestures, some of you might have meant it more than others.

I used to believe that “friend” was a word with capital letters and a title very difficult to achieve. Today I believe that there are as many definitions of friendships as number of friendships there are in the world. Some of them are stronger and everlasting, some of them as just temporary, a fleeting glimpse of happiness, an oasis that more often than not could turn into a mirage. In many different styles and degrees and with very different levels of trust and shared interests, you are all a piece of the puzzle that makes my HBS experience a happy one –when I see the glass half full-. You might have heard me say that I believe kindness can be translated in terms of lumens. That is, those who are good at heart have a special aura, a special brightness that I perceive… and all of you shine incredibly making a dark day as today as bright as it could ever be.

So I have nothing left but to say thank you for enlightening me with the warmth that lies in your heart and let me take a smaller or bigger glimpse into the richness of your souls. At the end of these two years I will most likely forget most of the cases and the class discussions, but I will never forget any of you because in many different and subtle ways you have carved into my soul helping me be the person I am today and the person I will be for the rest of my life.

Count on me for whatever you need and don’t forget to tell your love ones how you feel about them. This crazy life is too short and you only live once to tell the people you love that you love them, to hug your elderly one last time, to fix the strained relationships with your closest ones, to pamper yourself into sleeping late if you need to or to push yourself when you really want to achieve something.

Let it be...

“What is love? I wonder
What is sorrow? I know
What is fate? I ignore
If only my path were clear to my eyes, but only uncertainty fills my heart.
My soul breaks into pieces when facing injustice and inhumanity. But resilience dismisses these wounds and hides the scars.
More often than not, emotional strength is confused with drive; more often than not success is mistaken for passion. I strive to find clarity; I struggle to find inspiration. I am seeking to know what it is that I am still looking for but have not yet found.
Let it be love, let it be passion, let it be hope. Let it all be together and let it all be source of happiness and joy.
For life is the journey of discovering the way to fulfillment and I am yet to discover which detour I have missed.
Let the senses and the soul be in perfect communion and indulgence, for my being needs to be overwhelmed with a realm of peaceful love, with a sense of purpose in life, with a sense of belonging in a mission, a geography, a pair of arms.
30 years of searching, 30 years of learning, a life ahead of discovery is yet to come. And the adventure would bring more excitement and greater fulfillment if a sense of belonging were already in place.
Will the nomad free spirit ever find home? Will it ever rest in love? Questions remain unanswered making the quest more powerful. I will just hope for temporary oasis, small breaks that make the burden easier to bare.
For every life has a mission and every soul has a talent and this needs to be shared and exploited selflessly to create the greatest impact and overall turn our world into a more humane place.
Inspiration. I was just looking for inspiration to trigger the treasure that lies in me and God have I found inspiration in the darkness of human kind and the sweetness of innocence.
Let me be, Lord, a channel and source of inspiration. Let me be as much as you want me to be and even more. Let me be ME.”

Agustina Rosenfeld

Amsterdam, November 10^th, 2013

Fyra Restaurant after visiting Ann Frank’s house

Some wisdom on a cold snowy afternoon

I do better with written word that spoken. There is something about the white canvas, the blank page in front of me that is both inspiring and challenging. Also, there is something about cold autumn weather, a cold coffee and music that gets me in the right mood to connect with myself.

All this introduction to just acknowledge some realization that I came to today. To begin with, I consider all of you my dearest friends in this wild HBS experience. Even though I might not talk to all of you as frequently or as deeply as most people would do with their closest friends, I do feel that I can be myself in front of you, be transparent and/or I have very insightful conversations with you or that I want to spend more time with you.  In the end, I feel you accept me for who I am. However the key question may be is: “who am I?”.

Ever since I arrived to Boston, I have developed this very strong sense of purpose, this urge to create a legacy. Nonetheless, I am still struggling with finding the right direction for this initial drive. I believe that my recent relationship failure has helped me identify a great existential void that lied within me. A void that apparently I have been trying to fill with food… God damn, I really do not know how I am going to lose all these extra pounds before summer in Buenos Aires. I have only two weeks to go! Anyhow, going back to what really matters, I might have been avoiding this realization for a while, trying to find the answer -to a question I was too afraid to pose- in all the wrong places.

Ultimately, the answer to most everything that is existential only lies within our inner self. And this comes down for me to that Stanford essay question I could never properly answer which is “What matter to you the most and why?”. Whenever I face this query I always go back to my philosophy classes back in school. Boy, there were lots of them! Anyhow, for me what matters to me the most in life is happiness. Only by being happy you can bring joy to other people’s life. So what leads to happiness? (No, no, you are not in a LEAD class :-P) The way I think of it is that happiness is the fruit of becoming your true self. I believe life is a gift that comes with a second gift which is your true self. As one friend always joked “You are unique just like everyone else”. And that is soo soo true. We are all unique human beings, and only if we move towards achieving our full potential –which even if unlocked is not truly attainable in this life as there is always room for perfection- we will be able to give ourselves truly to life, to our friends, to a life partner. We can only honor the immense and in-commensurable gift that life is by diving into our souls depths and navigating that sea of wonder becoming every day more authentic to who we really are.

And of course this is not a lonely task but quite the opposite. It is human nature to be social beings and it is through social interaction that we discover who we are. When you think of it, each and every one of you brings out different layers and angles of my personality and you help me realize and shape my true potential. I sometimes hear myself giving you advice that I should take in the first place. I learn through your experiences and advices. And most importantly I cherish all the wonderful memories we are creating every day we share time together.

Overall, I believe that my greatest realization is that the right answer to dealing with my existential void was just all the time in front of me. Friendship is the key to overcoming any obstacle life might put in our ways. Happiness lies within us and if happy nothing can disturb our soul. Life is too short and as kids say this days it “YOLO”. And it’s true, you only live once to tell the people you love that you love them, to hug your elderly one last time, to fix the strained relationships with your closest ones, to pamper yourself into sleeping late if you need to or push yourself when you really want to achieve something. Life is such a wonderful gift that needs to be honored every day with being the most authentic version of our true selves that we possibly can. And though today –and specially this past week- my soul has found moments of sorrow and loss, I am confident that there is always light at the end of the tunnel… but that I need to make my way through that tunnel more social, that I need to make time to nurture deeper bonds with the wonderful people you all are.

Tons of love from this lone trotter.

Simply LOVE

To all my romantic and/or heartbroken friends, listen to this quiet beautiful song. It carries the endearing sweetness of a caress and the refreshing innocence of the teenage perspective on love. For those who think that, just as the song suggests, you will never feel the same let me tell you that’s the beauty of love: it is never the same for any two people in your life. You don’t love two friends the same way as you just don’t love two partners equally. And that, my friends, is where the magnificence of love relies: in its plasticity and ability of shaping itself into the way your souls fit each other. Let it be friendship, motherhood, or romantic love. The mystery about how many different ways your heart could open up to love is one of the wonders and charms of being alive. First love never dies, as neither do the second, third or how many you discover on your way. Love, love, love. Because there is no feeling as powerful, as humbling, as puzzling, as meaningful, as foolish, as exciting, as empowering, as fulfilling as love. Simply LOVE J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Y2jfK06pY&feature=kp 

Iowa loving

So I look into your beautiful eyes, into your sweet liar eyes and I wonder if I want to believe those words that elegantly fall from your lips. Those sounds that so unexpectedly describe the dreams that used to govern my soul. Your speech is so well crafted, so minimal, so strategic, so very much you. And just like it did in the past it has the power to draw me towards you. The air fills with electricity and for a minute there my hearts expands itself and starts pumping faster and faster. But here you are only a year too late, puzzling and troubling my soul. Here you are trying to make a fool of me once again. Here you are saying words that have no meaning, no value; conceiving enticing sets of letters that will fall apart and disappear into thin air the second they start flying into the breeze.

Your voice sounds so softly and so distant, like a sorry memory that does not belong in the present. The pumping kindly slows down, and although slightly flattered, my heart is blithe to go back to its own rhythm. My lips gently sketch a hint of a smile. Kindness and detachment take over my eyes and I walk towards you. In silence I first grab your shoulders with both my hands. While I take a deep breath I raise my hands towards your cheeks. I kiss you in the forehead as I say “Goodbye. We are the living example of how bittersweet missed opportunities might feel.” I walk away without looking back on the perfect moment when fate and wisdom met. And just like I did in the past, this time around I am once again successful in avoiding the nonsense of your false promises.